THE JOB HUNT CHRONICLES
BELLCO INTERNATIONAL
Water Testing Engineer I Hello. Here is the update on my pathetic career search after graduating from Kadonka School of Fortunes with a split degree in Roiling and Forensic Gargle Screetching. I applied, interviewd and was offered an internship by a dangerously large enterprise called Bellco Infinitum. What attracted me to this horshoe shaped mega factory operation was the corporate slogan "Ding Dong, We're Different". The company is headed up by Troin Klaughntch (pronounced Troy Klonk), an eccentric yet charasmatic leader, who occupies a windowless office on the 93 floor and fries bacon with a argon pump laser. I'm in the Water Division. The Water Division makes and sells water, as well as ALL products and services that utilize water. Whether your thing is to consume water, blow water out a hose, or need water at your disposal, Bellco makes and sells it. In fact, Bellco has over 319 million different divisions making and selling everything there is. From telescopes to Chimpanzees and everything in between. My hair was been dyed company blue for pictures day. The Water Division sported paper hats and company tatoos pulling out all the stops in an attempt to score big at the spirit olympics. On Monday, aprox. 90 days after starting with Bellco, I was terminated or "released from my contract". I suppose it had to do with vomiting onto the radioactive Lindesfarn Machine, and causing some sort of short circuit. The technician who inspected the machine said that he had "never before seen such damage...tube-view ported clotted with vomit". It's over. I applied and in some instances interviewed for a series of jobs that spanned the spectrum of my skill and varied drastically in scope and nature. I got offers from all, declined each one. Here's the list. Some I left off cause they are embarrassing to mention here. [company, location,job title, description,]. Pathologix, CA,Test Subject, Electric forehead screw tester SEA QUEENS , Patagonia, Camel Shifter, Push Camels east Morris Clnean, Fl, Gunion Sucker, Ruu the Gunion Sucker |